i had a dream once. now i have no dreams. they've all died.
yes i have a melodramatic side. no, i was never in drama class. perhaps i got some from THE EX.
no my dreams havent all died. but for the first time in ages, i woke up with no recollection of any dreams. usually i can recall something. today it was all black. i'm not sure if i've gone numb again. i went numb when THE GIRL told me she wasnt feeling as strongly about me as i was about her. that one physically hurt. the dealie with SPAETZLEGIRL didnt physically hurt, but it definately was a painful, waterworks filled experience. is. not was. still dealing with things. not a pleasant time. at least we can talk and i can ask the questions you never get to ask.

THE EX and THE GIRL have been wonderful in helping me deal with this. as have all my friends, SPAETZLEGIRL included.
i wonder if she likes her nickname. well do you?
yeah, she reads this. its cool. i like having an audience. i like being full of audacity too.

my da comes to town tomorrow. gonna go shopping. gonna go get my new car. gonna eat lots of turkey. gonna be bored off our asses i'm sure.

for some reason its 1151pm and i'm eating some leftovers. yeah, i ate dinner. i just decided to eat again. maybe i'm not as numb as i thought? eating is always a bad sign. so is playing my guitar and listening to old favorite bands. which i have done in the last few days.
hmm.

it should be interesting to see how well i fare through the next few days as:
a) my dad is here
b) SPAETZLEGIRL is iowa bound

hehhhe she had been wanting to set me up with her cousin. when we had our talk, she asked me if she could still set us up. of course i said yes. i told her her redemption came with setting me up with someone as wonderful as herself.

she's being very careful and picky with who she sets me up. i'm not sure i'm that picky at the moment.

draw me something wonderful on my whiteboard