October 6, 1999
nerves
|
well just yesterday i thought i could do this every day. today i'm not so sure.
cuz i dont have much to say. i went flying with my friend who is a pilot, and
then i came home to call this girl. well i can never do that. i get all nerved
out and its like horrid. like the other day, it took me a few hours to do it.
tonite, i managed to only procrastinate by like 20 minutes. not bad considering
how wigged out i get about this stuff. i blame my mother for at a young age she
instilled in me a sense that i hafta know what i'm gonna say before i call
anyone. so... anyway. i called, but there was no answer. blah. so another
time i'll go thru the whole thing again. i was tempted to just send her a note
via email, but that seems sorta lame. of course i'll probably do that tomorrow
anyway...
blah. sometimes i wonder how sane i am. sometimes i wonder if all of this is worthwhile. of course take into account i'm dealing with issues at work, dealin with lack of relationship crap, but SHEESH. sometimes its just a bit too much for a wee little boy. i told a real life friend about this, so a big hi! out across the pond. i have wondered if i'd write this differently, knowing that someone i know would be reading this. i do know that i didnt tell some ppl who know me cuz it would be sorta weird. oh well. something to ask another web-diarist i guess... a weird thing happened after i found no answer on that girl's phone. i was wondering if perhaps she was screening calls - you know the whole paranoia thing. well, as i was thinkin this, i had Garbage's Version 2.0 cd in the player and the song was "I think i'm paranoid"... just a little amusing thing. |
