a much quieter and less smoky evening for me tonite. i got some things done at work which kept me there a bit late, and then i came home and ate leftovers and so forth. simple typical work day, cept longer.

why is it that some days you feel like crap when you leave work? is it because i have no life that i get depressed about it? or is it that i just need to get a better outlook on life? for example, THE GIRL probably doesnt feel like pooh when she gets home, cuz shes a good girl and goes and works out and so on every day and even though she has a crumpled car, and no boy, and so forth, i believe she is happy with how her life is. me, i'm not sure anymore. yeah, i'm happier now than i was before i met THE GIRL, and even though things there are sorta in a holding pattern, i'm still doin ok. but i can feel myself slipping back to the old morose, mundane place. i think back to some quotes from conversations i've had with various people in the last few months. here are two quotes which i recall. (and yes, i'm paraphrasing, cuz my memory is like a colander)
"I really want to be in love with someone, everyone seems like they're in love with someone, and i want that same thing."
"You really want to be with me? or do you want to be with someone, and you happen to have found me?"
for some reason they echo in my head. particularly the second quote, cuz it was directed at me, and i sometimes second guess myself. of course, i probably should do as THE GIRL commanded and NOT THINK.
so, on that tactic, i will move forward and continue my pursuit of the unamed girl, who i'll need to come up with a good journal nickname for.

in other news, i believe that THE EX is having a wonderful time with her new boy, based on reports from a mutual net friend.

so now i need to get a hold of this unamed girl, but she moved recently and i only have her old number via our mutual friend D. it would be great if we could hook up this weekend for a date, since M and D are going out of town tomorrow, and are abandoning me all to myself.

do the whiteboard