and then with my lovelife, such as it is, is nothing like that, but still i feel like i might be too expectant. again, here it could be insecurity. no, it probably IS insecurity. THE GIRL is very cool, and i want to be with her and find out how we would click together in real life, as opposed to what we have now via email,chat, and phone calls.
but i still want more. mainly cuz i am a needy son of a bitch. nah, i'm not really. its just we had a little bit of dementia last week, and all was worked out, but we missed out on our weekend communication, and well... I MISS HER.

you'd think that with all the fancy things i could do here with bolding, and font size, that i'd do something better than ALLCAPPING, but hey, this is how i wanna do this. muahahahah

i mean, i'd like to get some info from her other than the short little emails i get now. but shes really focking busy right now. her job is a nightmare due to some new govt stuff, and well... i dunno why she cant write me email at night other than shes got some other stuff to do? *sniff sniff* i dunno. i'm just whining. i know she holds me dear in her heart and head, its just a hectic time for her. and its really just something to use as an entry.

i mean, i really dont mean to make it sound like shes neglecting me. cuz she isnt. shes just not finding the time to drop me the gobs of email she owes me in response to the long missives i send her way. eheheheh.

but then again, one shouldnt piss off someone trained in killing...

Secret Message: v zvuuyn lfd.