Tonite, we have a special guest star. Frippy gives us something to read...

Spike is not yet seasoned in the art of online self-promotion, so as a longtime veteran of the art (perhaps not as longtime as others, but I have kept an online journal since 1997, quit and returned before the season's end, not to mention a half-baked blog attempt and many a version of the self-serving "about me" website), I've come to polish up Spike's image and explain WHY YOU SHOULD READ SPIKE.

Spike is a cool guy, he's living in Minneapolis, the same city that gave us Semisonic, which did that very popular "Closing Time" song that I didn't like, the same city that gave us Soul Asylum, which did that very popular ballad "Runaway Train" that I didn't like, the same city that gave us Prince -- and I love Prince, who cares if he's a creepy little spiritually crazed midget? I had a crush on him ever since I was seven years old. And to think, Spike is probably walking around, soaking up all that musical talent which must be hanging in the air like sausage fat! Mm-mm!

Not only does Spike inhabit the same zip codes as some famous or potentially famous people, he has actually met some! Okay, as far as I know, he's only met one, but it was Billy Corgan, I mean, you could meet some loser half-star like the living remainder of Milli Vanilli, but not Spike! No bumping into washed-up 80s sitcom stars for Spike! And he met him at a racetrack! Spike is into superfast cars and rock stars! That is superdupercool!

But don't like Spike for his possible connections alone, Spike himself is a wealth of interesting facts, figures, foibles and furniture. He has a marble table in his house, which he bought because marble is an ideal surface on which to knead and work bread dough. However, like a true hipster, Spike does not actually make bread! But if he very wanted to, you know his bread would rock like a 1986 Prince concert, because of that table! Which Spike bought! Therefore making Spike rad.

In addition to his marble topped table, Spike's humble abode, which I have not actually seen, also contains a stereo chorus pedal. My chorus pedal, before it broke, was a mere mono chorus pedal, thus making him my better in chorus pedal technology ownership. Anyhow, we have extremely vague plans to start a band someday, perhaps we'll call ourselves "100 Dancing Sausages" or "Steenking Cowpie" or "The Mighty Mighty Dorkuses."

Will we actually start a band and make our mark as the next big music act to emerge from the Twin Cities? When Spike goes up onstage to collect his Grammy for best new artist, will he thank you, his readers, for being there with him for all this time?

You'll only know if you continue to tune in... to Brainstem!