tired, but awaiting arrival online of THE GIRL. she is around 40 mins late, and i'm beginning to think its not gonna happen. which will suck. i will also try calling her on fone in a few. i am tired, somewhat overfed, and somewhat cranky from multiple things. THE EX thinks a wave of negativity has hit us from somewhere. i am thinking she might be right.

had a weird thing happen today. was not havin much fun hangin with mr B today. its not his fault, we just dont really do anything fun, just go out and try and get each other to spend more money. anyways, was trying to reach SPAETZLEGIRL and not having ANY luck, which was bummin me out. i wanted to see her tonite cuz with our current schedules we'll probably not see each other for a few weeksand i'd like to get time in. yeah yeah yeah, i know its not like we're dating, but still, it'd be nice to see her since she is my best friend and all. which might be part of the issue. shes been sorta distant, and its like she doesnt like hanging with me. this weekend she was sorta going out of her way to keep separate plans. i dunno. like on new years, she went and decided to hang out elsewhere instead of hanging here. i dunno. its weird. anyways, back to today. i couldnt get a hold of her, and B and i were gonna go do dinner with his girl C. so we were on our way over to her place, and SPAETZLEGIRL finally paged me back, but she was like 'no i dont wanna do anything, i'm too tired' which was reasonable given her story, but then she went and told me that she had made other plans for tomorrow, when i had already asked her yesterday to go to brunch with me and R and D. so that was sucky. so i said i'd drop by after brunch, hung up and was like PISSED. and then immediately was like "WHY THE HELL AM I PISSED? I SHOULDNT BE" so i then cranked up the music on the tape in the car (was driving, did i mention that?) and lo! this was what i heard:

If I make it through today
I'll know tommorow not to leave my feelngs out on display
I put the cobwebs back in place
I've never been too good with names but I remember faces

which was exactly true. strange, what?

gonna go call THE GIRL. i hope shes home.